Subconscious behavior or Unconscious behavior
We have an Ineluctable, (not to be resisted), belief that the messages we are sending verbally are the messages the listener is receiving. The words are only a small part of the entire message. Most experts believe that 80% of communications are nonverbal. The majority of the message is sent with nonverbal clues. These clues include facial expressions, body movement and incorporating inflection and tone in how we say the words.
We are saying a great deal nonverbally, only, we are not very good at realizing it.
Perhaps a better way of putting it, we are good at sending the non-verbal messages, we just fail to realize it.
A great way of understanding this concept is to take a look at how we communicate today in our technology world.
Think of it this way, you can be talking to someone face to face while at the same time, they receive a text message. This is the same thing that happens when talking to people. On one level you are hearing their words and on another level you are reading a text message. Two messages coming to their brain at the same time. Only with subconscious messages the brain combines the two messages into one cohesive message.
In effect, the brain completes the story you really want to tell.
The criminal mind
A great example of subconscious behavior is when a criminal is arrested and acts like he doesn’t want to be caught or go to jail. Yet while being interrogated, he sings like a bird, (reveals the truth). Another thing that happens is that the criminal says he knows nothing about the crime while at the same time becomes very agitated and fidgety while responding to the question.
Why? Not because they beat it out of him, but because subconsciously he did want to be caught or was unable to hide the truth.
My Mom’s most favorite phase was: Actions speak louder than words
The subconscious mind
All of us do things in your lives that are subconscious. Understanding this fact is quite helpful in understanding of interpersonal behavior. When someone is nervous they tend to touch their face, liars tend to look away or try to stare at you fearful that you will know they are lying. If a woman is enjoying what you are saying they tend to play with their hair.
There are many signals we send to others. Not all these subconscious clues are telegraphed as clear and concise messages, but if you think you are reading a signal correctly, you can seek other signals to verify that you are reading the signals correctly.